it's alright, she said. it's alright.

first, clean up my look. then i'll clean up my act. then we'll see how it goes.
words to keep in mind: "keep it clean." "start over fresh."
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dream: three sets of lines. one set already crossed out. one to be completed three years from now. last set to be completed in seven.
dreamt: two days in a row
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afraid to be human/afraid of humanity
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i feel it in the pit of my stomach
the thought of you really makes me want to vomit
but i still can't get you fucking off my mind
i'd do anything for you
i desperately want to be a part of your world
but i'm trying to grow up
i don't even know what you look like anymore
so i cut myself off from you
but i couldn't keep it up
_
take anything you want from me
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volume
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no one's keeping track of how many times you screw up, so chill the fuck out
i know it's a weird feeling the first time you reach the conclusion that no one gives a shit about you, but there it is
i'll find someone who's less consumed by worrying about themselves, because frankly, it's pathetic
_
it's just an excuse to spit in your face
_
i don't know you. i want to. i could love you.