disillusionment

A feeling that arises from the discovery that something is not what it was anticipated to be, commonly held to be stronger than disappointment especially when a belief central to one’s identity is shown to be false; The act of freeing from an illusion, or the state of being freed therefrom



i clean and organize my belongings so i can remember what it feels like to have control over my own life
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i might be lying to myself
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I have better things that I'm going to hell for so I don't worry about it too much.
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i have a feeling that the overall emotion and tone of any posts from now on will be infinitely more positive now that you are a part of my life, but as of right now, god, i am just fucking burnt out.
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STOP IT. DON'T FUCK THIS UP.