Friday, April 24, 2009

imagined futures

since i never know how to act as part of a concert audience, i decided i would be the one on stage instead
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what do you do when your lead singer is horrible? when you get rid of them, you get rid of your band's identity
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sometimes i laugh at other people's misery just so i can stop thinking about my own
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is your heart beating as fast as mine
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we dance around the topic like a ritual
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watch me fly, then crash and burn
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delicate balance between peace and boredom
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turn up the volume on the music until it's deafening, so i won't be able to listen my own thoughts
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Invisible one - I do
Close one - I thought I did
Distant one - I used to
Near One - I won't allow myself to
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the laws of gravity say you cannot fly, but i disagree
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Something strange happens whenever I see any girl that I would regard as "beautiful." My thought process goes something like this.
1) wow, she is beautiful
2) i wonder what her personality is like
2) there must be thousands upon thousands of girls, either as or more beautiful, that have amazing personalities
3) those thousands are people I could easily fall in love with

Stupid little phrases like "There are plenty of fish in the sea" then strike a new chord with me.
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I wonder if I will move on to a world that transcends the one I am part of at this very moment, or if I have maybe reached a ceiling. Is this as good as life could get? I really don't want to think that life could be better, because then I know that means the people in this life are not enough to make this life as perfect as it could be. I'd almost feel a little guilty that I moving on from these people will be part of why my life would be better. At the same time, I don't want to know that my life will never be as good as it is now. I'll be stuck with feelings of regret for not enjoying myself more, and depressing in knowing that I will have nothing to look forward to.

When I look back at my life now, will I be glad of how it went? Who I am? How I am to the people around me? How those people think of me?

(side note: Will I remember thinking about this topic? If so, I'll be thinking of the past in a time when I was thinking about the future.)

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